(Via Costa Rica's Diario Extra.)

Rush Limbaugh has said he’ll move to Costa Rica if Congress passes health care reform. But that can’t be right. By Limbaugh standards, Costa Rica is practically Stalinist, what with the social security system providing government health care and government clinics to everybody who pays into the system (workers must contribute about 15% of their paycheck, if memory serves, or they get sent to a gulag in Cañas).

What’s Rush really after? I’ll tell you: Ass.

Yes, ass. In addition to being great at socialized medicine, Costa Rica is great at The Sex Tourism. And Rush knows something about The Sex Tourism. Either that, or he had something far more scandalous in mind when he traveled to the Dominican Republic in 2006 on a private jet with a bunch of dudes and a bottle full of Viagra.

It would also explain why he had Costa Rica on the tip of his oily tongue. Like, maybe he’s been here before? Had he been, you would never notice. He would blend in with his listeners down here like an old shoe, all the other divorced, good-ol’-boy, Parrothead, fat-assed shit-kickers from Texas and Florida and Alabama, bellied up to the bars along Gringo Gulch like hogs in slop, drinking $4 beers and flirting with prostitutes who call them papi and ask for money so they can buy their kids school supplies.

I hope Rush isn’t a Pacific Coast kind of guy, because there are no private hospitals out that way to treat his inevitable venereal diseases. Anyway, he’ll be happy to learn that the government-run clinics are actually quite nice.

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